Characters: Carl & Jeremy – a gay couple in their late 20’s. Both are baritones

Carl sits on the couch in his living room looking at his smart phone. He makes the occasional, swipe casually with his finger, slouches further down and puts a leg up on the coffee table. His boyfriend, Jeremy, comes in the room. 

 

 

Carl

I don’t know

It’s all bull shit

shit

from bulls

Jeremy

What’s bull shit?

Carl

Every God Damned thing. Trump, Fox News, Pokemon is 25 years old!

Jeremy

Well, Mr. Grumbleweed…

Carl

I hate it when you call me that, Jeremy

Jeremy

I only call it when that’s what your being. Now remember, Beth and Ben are here for dinner at eight

Carl

Can’t wait – Beth and Ben – sounds like a sitcom

Jeremy

Don’t let the fact that I do everything around here keep you from vacuuming this room

Carl

I won’t

Jeremy

We should get a zoomba someday

Carl

Only if it comes with a cat attachment

Jeremy exits into the kitchen

Carl

I don’t wanna

Can’t make me

Nah, nope, no

Won’t do it

My but is stuck to the couch

my eyeballs glued to the phone

I could get up and do some shit but

I don’t wanna

 

Grumblweed Choir

I don’t wanna

Can’t make me

Nah, nope, no

make your boyfriend crazy

Carl, ya know, you’re such a slug

won’t even move if you get mugged

 

 

Carl

My limbs are heavy – too heavy to lift

I am suspended in misery

I just want to sit

Is that ok?

To sit and not be lectured?

Conformity

Requirements of society

Piety and obedience to an entity stuck in Orthodoxy

Explain that one to me Rabbi!

Why should I obey you?!

I see a wall

A wall one hundred feet tall

Made of glass brick

I see the other side thick with potential

The possibility of possibility

The known unknowns

The dream of a someday

Hard and clear and cold this wall of glass

a hundred feet tall

which keeps me from reaching my fulfillment

reaching my fulfillment

Fulfillment

I am meant to fill something

Meant for something…I don’t know…terrific

I do not know

Am I meant for greatness?

Is it meant for me?

I am great – my parents always said

My parents always said I was the best

What ever it was they always said I was the best

What can I be – should be – could be…would be…could be

Oh, I don’t know.

Choir

Oh Carl – poor Carl – Sad Carl

Jeremy

Are you done with your pitty party?

I didn’t fall in love with you because you were a tumbling grumblweed – you know

I love you

I love you

you find your way out of the tumbleweeds

you emerge from darkness into light

you give me hope for tomorrow

Carl

There’s not much light from here Jeremy

Jeremy

You are my light, Carl

Carl

Not right now

This is not the Utopia we were promised

Jeremy

That promise was a lie

It should die and we should be free to build a world of our own imagination

Carl

We’re too old

Jeremy

What do you want, Carl?!

Carl

I want everyone to shut the fuck up

Jeremy

And then what?

Carl

So then I can think

Jeremy

And when you can think – what then?

Carl

Then I would be able to see

Able to see that we are not what we thought we would be together

Jeremy – It’s not working

I think I should leave tonight

Jeremy

But our dinner with Beth and Ben

Carl

You’ll have to do the vacuuming yourself – I’m not good husband material, Jeremy.

Jeremy

Carl! You can’t just leave like that!

 

Carl puts on his coat, grabs his phone and walks out the door

 The End