Scapegoat: A Fantasy with Some Opera at the Top – ACT I

2016-10-23-19-36-31-2Scapegoat: Concerning Some Angels, A Goat on the Lam and the Eventual Redemption of a Cop, a Vet and a Rabbinical Student

Setting: An outdoor parking lot in Bedford-Stuyvesant Brooklyn behind a city hospital complex that looks remarkably castle-like. It is two fifteen in the morning on a sultry summer evening. The parking lot is lit by a strong directional light causing a chiaroscuro effect on all the cars and buildings caught in its beam. As the audience enters the theatre we hear audio of New York City night-life; revelers, sirens, people walking together down the sidewalk talking & laughing, cars passing by, an occasional motorcycle roars past, a dog barks, even the subtle sound of crickets chirping in the abandoned lot across the way makes its way into the soundscape of this summer night in Brooklyn. As the house lights start to dim the street noise reduces, not necessarily in level but in quantity. There comes a deep sigh in the New York City night where lovers tangled together in a doorway have finally chosen who’s home to go to; where the bar around the corner has already signaled last call and the band is bringing down the house with one last chord; where men and women starting the late-shift have already crossed paths with the men and women who have called it a day already, for Christ’sake! Everyone has gotten to where they are going and Brooklyn takes one long, deep breath. The cricket’s choir raises a toast to the silent night then cuts out.

Author’s Note: I’ve been listening to lots of Mozart for a musical floor to the body of this theatrical piece. It felt right using a rock version of his symphony no.25 to kick things off.  Thanks Julien Brasart!

The Cast in order of appearance

  • Enoch a Prophet – Flautist
  • Gabriel an Angel – Soprano
  • Azazel/The Billy Goat  an Angel & Goat Puppet – Baritone
  • Raphael an Angel – Oboist
  • Michael/Saydou Sai’iqi Arch Angel & Hospital Orderly – Base Baritone
  • Phanuel an Angel – Violist
  • Officer Evrymn an NYPD Officer
  • Sam Gore a Homeless Vet
  • Shmuley Katzmukatz a Haredi Rabbinical Student
  • Precinct Dispatcher/hospital announcer – audio only

Author’s Note #2: the opening scene is based upon a composition by Bronwen Mullen who worked together with me on its development two years ago for a completely separate project.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/158680239″>Tramsission II Audio Runthru</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/17to6media”>Marianna Mott Newirth</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

I worked lyrics in for this. Not sure if it works entirely but it should give you the feel of how it could sound. And now…

ACT 1 scene 1

Hovering in an unearthly light above the parking lot, Enoch appears playing the flute in the midst of an astounding spiritual revelation. Enoch, keenly aware of everything going on in the parking lot, on the street, in the audience, around the entire world, communicates entirely through the flute. The Angel, Gabriel, appears next to Enoch shining so brightly that Enoch’s eyes hurt. Gabriel takes out a pair of sunglasses and places them on Enoch’s face. Enoch relaxes.

GABRIEL

Enoch, good
at last, at last you hear
there is much to tell you
Azazel taught men
and the world, the world was changed

The Angel, Azazel, appears next to Gabriel

AZAZEL
Azazel taught men
and the world, the world was changed
     The Angel, Raphael, appear next to Gabriel playing the oboe
I took a wife – a human wife
I went in to her
pleased her as no man could
We are Watchers
we make knowledge
reveal eternal secrets
teach the art of making bracelets
swords and daggers – shields and breastplates

The Angel, Michael, appears next to Gabriel on the other side of Enoch

MICHAEL
Azazel
alarm bell
servant of hell
this won’t go well
spirits that are full of lust
will be punished

AZAZEL
Michael

MICHAEL
Azazel

AZAZEL
You were my friend once

AZAZEL & MICHAEL
Angels in arms

AZAZEL
Angels in arms

MICHAEL
This won’t go well
Light will flash and thunder rolling

AZAZEL
I’m not going

MICHAEL
You are going
you are banished
give me your wings
You are now a fallen angel

The Angel, Phanuel, appears with the other angels playing the viola

MICHAEL
You fornicate
you masturbate
you stay out late
an angel?!

GABRIEL & MICHAEL
you defecate
you copulate
you impregnate
An angel??!!

You fornicate
you masturbate
you stay out late
An angel?!

GABRIEL & MICHAEL(CON’T) AZAZEL
You defecate
you copulate
you impregnate
must stop you!
I think I’m great
I innovate

she took the bait
can’t stop me!


AZAZEL
I taught them all
to write
showed them how to write
I taught them all
to fight
now they fight with might
I am the one
who gave
people pleasure
not like your God
who has
no realm of measure
Humans are weak
I know
I make them stronger
Because of me
they don’t need
God any longer

GABRIEL & MICHAEL
Wisdom went out
to dwell
among the sons of men
she could not find
a place
and returned again
We must go out
Angels
who will measure man
bringing him up
to the Lord
as best we can
Iniquity
will fall
just like shadow
The Watcher’s call
is doomed to end tomorrow

GABRIEL
Hey, hey you can run away
hey, hey Azazel you may
hey, hey you can always pray
hey, hey repent to Him today

AZAZEL
hey, hey I’ve no need to stray
hey, hey in the light of day
hey, hey free will’s my only way
hey, hey my power to convey

MICHAEL
Rip those wings off him
rip those wings off him
bind his hands and legs
bind his hands and legs
rip those wings off him
bind his hands and legs

GABRIEL
It is time for you to go

AZAZEL
I do not want to go

GABRIEL
It is time for you to go

The angels are over being nice to Azazel – Enoch observes them closing in on the falling angel. As they gather forces their brightness grows, blinding Azazel who grabs the dark glasses off of Enoch’s face and puts them on

AZAZEL
hey, hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey, hey

GABRIEL & MICHAEL
Throw him down to dwell on dry ground
beat him hard with iron and bronze
into a furnace of fire
Lord of Spirit’s vengeance higher
Pain on you as though it’s childbirth
You’ll be punished in your body

AZAZEL
All I ever wanted was free will
to make a world with wisdom
art and song and war and passion
man and angel bound in fashion
thousand thousands and ten thousand
times ten thousand angel wings

Gabriel, in full Angelic regalia, touches Azazel’s forehead sending him careening downward as all the Angels, with Enoch observing, rise into the sky in a mighty, terrible, minor chord that eventually comes to rest in a major key indicating that all things in heaven are set right again.

END OF SCENE I which should transition seamlessly into SCENE II

Act I scene II

Azazel lands in the darkness beyond the parking lot and walks out under the strong directional light wearing the sunglasses he took off Enoch’s face. He is operating and communicating through a goat marionette.

THE BILLY GOAT (addressing the audience)

You saw that, didn’t you?
Looking up towards heaven

It wasn’t enough to banish me?
You had to make sure I landed as a goat!?

So…What’s a nice bovine like me doing in a place like this?

Some say it’s destiny

Others call it prophecy

This is fantasy

Honestly now, how many goats do you know who speak English?
Let’s see what we’ve got going on here in this parking lot tonight.

The Billy Goat trots his way into a dark shadow by one of the cars in the lot to spy on the people who come by. Officer Evrymn enters from the side where she had exited making the return trip on her well-worn beaten path around her section of Bed-Stuy. 

OFFICER EVRYMN
Eleven to seven – Eleven to seven
Walkin this beat down Dwyers street
Hook a left round Interfaith Hospital
Secure the area straight out to Flatbush
And turn ’round to do it again
Do it again
Do it all again and again and again
It’s run and rewind like a VHS tape

She finds a place to sit and takes a load off for the moment

You’d think with this job
I’d have lost some weight
Ten thousand steps
and the shift ain’t half over

It’s two-fifteen
aint got no one but myself to talk to
My arches are falling
better angels are calling
I am still hauling
Eleven to seven

She notices Sam at last and quickly rises from her seat putting the façade of her job back on. Officer Evrymn walks on observing Sam as she passes her by as she makes her rounds

OFFICER EVRYMN
You new around here?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
No, been here, I don’t know, a year? A week?

OFFICER EVRYMN
Well get up and move on. No loitering behind Interfaith Hospital on my watch

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
So what were you doing, praying?

OFFICER EVRYMN
Believe me you’d know if I was praying – now get lost

Sam slips away into the shadows

OFFICER EVRYMN (CON’T)
Workin the Late-Side
Put on the Dog Watch for singin my song
For callin it out when I saw something wrong
To be a cop I have to be hard
Hard enough to beat my dad
who beat my mom
Hard enough to beat the guy
who raped me when I was twelve
I was hard!
I was black-shiny-surface hard
Reflected the light so bright
I’d hurt your eyes, hard
Now here I am pullin’ the late-side just waiting for it all to be over
feeling duller than an old Bic razor blade

Officer Evrymn exits while Sam emerges from the shadows to rummage in the dumpster.

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Blood is coursing through my veins – it I can feel it
Little left of me remains – I can deal, try to steel myself
against the sunrise of another day
Under cover of the night I can curb my fright
Tomorrow, tomorrow maybe it will come out right
Sirens blare in the distance – Sam falls into a revelry

The barracks, they’re burning
I see them churning in hungry flames
Whoa! there goes the Captain’s porch
I should have locked him in there to scorch
How satisfying it would have been to watch him burn

When I was a “boot” he took me under his learned wing
Too many victims of his yearning fell prey to his discerning gaze
Stripped of my clothing – ordered to kneel
Like a dog he made me feel until I felt nothing at all

The revelry abruptly ends – She finds an old towel and pulls it out of the dumpster

Shit! I’m getting my period
Dear God will you just make me an old hag
so I no longer need this fucking rag
filled with shame and loathing
look at all this bloody clothing

Why didn’t you make me a man?!
This whole life would have gone so differently for me.

Time to hide before “Blue” comes back on her beat

Sam slips into the tool shed on the side of the parking lot to put on her rags. Officer Evrymn walks on her way back across stage on her well-worn path and exits. She does not notice the goat that is hiding in the shadow

THE BILLY GOAT

I am hungry – where’s my food

I am lonely – where’s my herd

I am terrified – where’s my goat herder

(aside) Just because I’m a puppet possessed by a fallen Angel does not mean I relinquish all my goaty tendencies!
Besides, I kind of like being a goat
And I’d sure like to get goaty with those two tasty does
Ya think they’d go for a stud like me? If only I had my wings! That would impress them 

Rabbi (almost) Shmuley calls out from off stage

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

Azazel

Azazel

Azazel!

THE BILLY GOAT

Oy – it’s the (almost) rabbi!
I thought I got rid of him

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

He enters holding a flashlight calling out tentatively & looking around as The Billy Goat hides in the shadow of a car

Azazel

Azazel

Azazel!

There is much work ahead to repair the world

Make it whole

Restore the judges as in the days of old and, ya know, all that stuff

THE BILLY GOAT

An overzealous, under-educated, misguided, fanatical youth,

The rabbinical student.

He tore me away from my herd

Me and the Does were in heavy fore-play

I was in such a good rut

They were bleating for my love

And from God above (!) I swear I was blessed with such strength

to satisfy the lot of them with my sebaceous scent

Then this shmegegie shows up and it all goes to shit!

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Oy gevault. So much competition to get ahead

Clearly I am the best bocher there but the Rebbe,
the Rebbe hardly notices me!

There’s been no chance to show him my worth
so here I am in the wilds of Bed-Stuy making my own destiny
The Rebbe will have to notice this!

A flash of lightning in the distance

I will crush the competition and soar to the top of the class

Shmuley stops and automatically recites the blessing over seeing lightning – he does it by rote, no feeling, no awe, no awareness, just conditioned recitation that he learned as a child

Baruch Atta Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam Oseh Maaseh Beresheet.
I need to find that goat!

The corresponding thunder roll sends Shmuley into a revelry

“Rebbe Katzmukatz” – they will say in hushed tones

Once I prove my worth to them all

And I will walk past them deep in thought

Shmuley stops again and automatically recites the blessing over hearing thunder like it’s an inconvenience. An obligatory piece of business

Baruch Atta Adonay Eloheinu Melech HaOlam SheKocho UGevurato Maaleh Olam

They’ll think my every step a step of Torah

Torah on my toes

Torah on my nose

Torah over my bro’es

As my greatness grows
Then Rivka will finally marry me
and we’ll have twenty-five children!

THE BILLY GOAT
Oh, so it all comes down to sex, doesn’t it. He should better understand my position then

That thought drives the Billy Goat out from behind the car’s shadow he’s been hiding in and zips past the rabbinical student giving him a swift kick on the way past

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

There he is! Ouch!

It’s all arranged

I’ve got the goat

Now to tie a red string about his throat

The sacred rite of Acharei Mot will return in our days

The path to salvation will be paved for the coming of Hashem

And I’ll finally secure my position as rabbi at Simchat Elocheim!

He lunges at the goat

 

THE BILLY GOAT

This guy is certifiable

Billy Goat kicks over a garbage can and head butts a car, setting off its alarm again.

He then slams into the side of a metal shed with his horns. Sam tumbles out terrified and in the throes of a PTSD episode while the goat runs off-stage

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

Tawaqf! (Stop in Arabic)

Awqafh alan! (stop it now)

Where’s my motherfucking gun?!

Who the fuck are you?!

Sam grabs Shmuley and throws him down to the ground and they roll around together

Tawaqf!

Awqafh alan!

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Aaaggghhhh what is this unkempt creature?!
This abomination of the night?!
Baruch Hashem give me strength
Get this wretched female off of me!

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Shut the fuck up!

Sam sits on him and points her finger at him like it’s a gun

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

Where did you come from?
I swear you dropped in from the sky like a deamon
Baruch Hashem give me strength
Grant me fortitude in the face of this monstrosity

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Who are you talking to?!

Sounds of a heavy garbage truck rolling down the block

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
I know you think you have a gun but really it’s your finger

There is a shared moment between Sam and Shmuley where they seem to connect. Sam rolls off of the rabbinical student and lets him get up.

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
I don’t care
It’s all I’ve got
except for a cot I found last week
The best damn bed I’ve had in years

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Oh, you mean that one that’s being picked up by the sanitation truck right now?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
What?! No! No, no, no, no, no. Hey, that’s my bed!

Sam starts to run as we hear the garbage truck crunching the contents of her cot in its iron jaws. She sees the demise of the best bed she’s had in years and sits down on the sidewalk

My bed, that’s my bed, my bed
I am better off dead

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Wow. You should go get yourself a new one

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Easy for you…rabbi. I’ve got nothing

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
You should go home, clean up, get a new bed, you’ll feel better

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Is this a joke?! There is no place for me to be
this is it – right here
I am where I am where I am which is nowhere

THE BILLY GOAT (to the audience)
Told you he was clueless

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
No home?
No community?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Are you naive?

THE BILLY GOAT
Yes he is

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
How could the sanitation man throw out your bed? Did he have keys to your home?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Un-fucking-believable! I have no home
I am homeless
home – less
I got nothing!
No – thing

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Well that’s not right
Everybody should have a home – even people like you

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
(beat)
Hey rabbi…you’re a rabbi, right?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Well, almost, yes. I get smicha next month after Sukkot

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
I have no idea what you just said

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
I’m practically a rabbi, yes

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Good. Read me my last rights
You would do that for a Christian woman, right?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Why would I do something like that?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
I’m gonna die tonight and I want you to put in a good word for me upstairs…ya know what I mean. Heaven takes in people who kill themselves now-a-days, I hear

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
This is madness! You are not killing yourself tonight or ever
and no, heaven only takes in the righteous

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Your saying I’m not righteous?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
I didn’t say that

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Bull shit you righteous prick

Sam sees Officer Evrymn enter walking her beat and takes the opportunity to try suicide-by-cop. She hurls herself on top of the rabbi (almost) Shmuly again and starts trying to hit him.
Officer Evrymn runs on stage with her gun drawn

 

OFFICER EVRYMN

Hold it right there sister – I thought you might be trouble

To Sam’s surprise the rabbinical student is quite strong and he flips her over. Shmuley is on top of her and he is suddenly aroused. This is, after all, the closest he’s ever gotten to a woman.

 

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

Shoot, shoot, go ahead, shoot

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

Don’t shoot, don’t shoot Baruch Hashem don’t shoot

OFFICER EVRYMN

Nobody’s shooting nobody! (she holsters her gun)

The Billy Goat scampers onto the scene running past the officer to her complete surprise
SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Oh snap!

OFFICER EVRYMN

Was that a… goat?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

That’s a goat, officer. Yes that’s my goat

THE BILLY GOAT
I am a goat with free will!

OFFICER EVRYMN

What you got going on with a goat in Bed-Stuy rabbi?

SAM THE HOMELSS VET

Almost rabbi – He gets Smuckers after…something…I dunno

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

Slicha, officer… what is it? Evrymn…hmmm.

This is about a sacred rite of forgiveness

Having nothing to do with your secular business

OFFICER EVRYMN

Oh you think so, religious man? Where’d ya get the goat come from?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

I was keeping him in the lot behind my shul

OFFICER EVRYMN
And where did you get the goat from before you put him in the lot behind your synagogue?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

From the slaughter house on Ludlow

THE BILLY GOAT
Wait, that was a slaughter house?!

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
I paid the man $300 to get the best one

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
I could have made good use out of that kind of money

THE BILLY GOAT
You mean that wasn’t a stud service?!

OFFICER EVRYMN
You paid him under the table?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHUMULEY
No, I put my money on top of the table

THE BILLY GOAT
Yo, Boss! Did you vet that animal before you threw me down here into its hide?!

OFFICER EVRYMN
No, I mean the guy; the guy pocketed the money?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Yes, I suppose he did put the money in his pocket

THE BILLY GOAT
You almost had me killed! You know that, don’t you.

OFFICER EVRYMN
What I’m saying is, this wasn’t a completely legitimate purchase, was it Rabbi?

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
You mean the man who sold me this goat was not given the proper permission to do so?!

OFFICER EVRYMN
Probably not

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Oh no.

THE BILLY GOAT (to the audience)
So the shmegegie actually saved my life! Ha! Bet you couldn’t have predict that! (referencing heaven) That’s free will, man! That’s what I’m talking about!

The Billy Goat cozies up to the Rab student long enough for Shmuley to tie a red string around his horn

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
awww, look at them together
They’re adorable

THE BILLY GOAT
I still don’t like him, though

He resumes running around in circles banging into cars and metal doors.

The goat takes the opportunity to give the rabbinical student another swift kick which leaves Shmuley doubled over in pain. Officer Evrymn pulls out her radio

 

OFFICER EVRYMN

Central, central, this is Officer Evrymn – I’m in pursuit of a…

The radio crackles and the dispatcher comes on

DISPATCHER

Come back on that? You broke up – over

OFFICER EVRYMN

In pursuit of a goat – over

DISPATCHER

Did you say a goat? – over

OFFICER EVRYMN

Copy that, Central. Request back-up – over

DISPATCHER

What do you think we are, a petting zoo? – over

OFFICER EVRYMN

Repeat; request back-up – we need to catch a Billy goat –

it’s got huge horns, potentially dangerous

DISPATCHER

10/4 back-up on its way

OFFICER EVRYMN

They think I’m a fool

I’m an idiot chasing a goat

in a parking lot behind Interfaith Hospital

in the middle of the night

Is this not what my life is meant to be about

DREAM SEQUENCE

The mood shifts and the action slows down so we hear more of what the characters are thinking in the midst of chaos in the “real world” Officer Ervymn, the goat and Sam step forward into a special.

OFFICER EVRYMN

Baby Shinae is waking up for her bottle

And my Dweh, he holds her in his strong arms
and sways her back to sleep

I miss them

Eight more years of this shit for the pension

THE BILLY GOAT

Beyond my comprehension

Go home, have sex
Your man, Dweh, is ready – your baby, Shinae, is sleeping
(to the audience) What is she waiting for?

Although Officer Evrymn can only hear the goat bleating she entertains the thought of abandoning her beat and going home to make love to her husband

 

OFFICER EVRYMN

Dweh always said I’d make a good preacher
What am I doing out here in the wilderness?
Why am I not following my heart like that rabbi is

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
That woman, that crazy woman – I’ve never felt this sort of feeling before except when I’m…

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
My last night on earth
Was there any glimmer of worth
to my existence? Nobody is capable of loving me.

THE BILLY GOAT
Brenda has forgotten you

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Brenda

THE BILLY GOAT
Brenda, yes, Brenda

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
If I could I would have made you my wife

THE BILLY GOAT
She loved your body against hers. The way you would tickle her belly with your long hair.
It was the crazy she couldn’t handle.

The special ends abruptly

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
I swear that goat is trying to talk to me.
Best to end this once and for all!

The (almost) rabbi lets out a mighty scream

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
Tamei! Tamei! Ani tamei! Oy vey! Your blood, your filthy woman’s blood is all over me.
I am a tainted man! You wretched witch of a woman! You, you bitch!

(aside) Oh my God I am totally turned on!! I don’t know what to do?
Baruch ha…Ah forget about that shit.

The Billy Goat is aroused by all the sexual tension and chaos

 THE BILLY GOAT
You totally want to fuck that woman rabbi!

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
I totally want to fuck her!

The goat lets out a loud snort, lifts his leg and shoots urine into his mouth in a gesture of sexual prowess – everyone recoils in disgust

OFFICER EVRYMN

Damn that goat smells nasty. Where the hell is my back up?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

What’s happening? What’s happening?
No! Fuck! You were supposed to shoot me, dam it!
Doesn’t matter – the rabbi wouldn’t read me my last rights so it doesn’t really matter at all anyway I am a complete disaster

Finally taking an actual look at Sam

OFFICER EVRYMN

Where were you stationed?

How many tours?

You have the same look on your face that my brother had when…

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

Afghanistan and then Iraq

I scooped up soldiers

packed ’em in a box

sent them home for the last time

OFFICER EVRYMN

Did the VA…?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

Fuck the VA. Dishonorable discharge

I set a general’s chair on fire

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

Why? What did he do to you?

SAM THE HOMELESS VET

What didn’t he do to me?

Better to get kicked out

than give one more blow job to a commanding officer!

Hey, ya got any Tampons in your fanny pack?

She lunges at the officer grabbing her gun and putting it to her neck.

 

OFICER EVERYMN & RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
NO! Don’t do it

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
All I want is some kind of a blessing before I check out of this fucking shit hole, rabbi!

Rabbi (almost) Shmuley lunges to keep Sam from killing herself

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY

No, you cannot! Life is precious!

SAM THE HOMELESS VET
Not this life, rabbi

RABBI (ALMOST) SHMULEY
but I love you!

He knocks the gun out of Sam’s hand. It lands in front of the goat who begins nibbling at it

 Sam, in a frenzied rage, tackles the (almost) rabbi and sits on him. They begin wrestling which turns into a wild erotic dance. The Goat continues to jump around slamming into things
as Officer Evrymn tries to get her gun back. The Billy Goat’s nibbling makes the gun fire into the tire of a car which sags suddenly.

The Ark Angel Michael, disguised as Seydo Sa’iqi appears in the parking lot

SEYDO SA’IQI

kowa da kowa kwantar da hankali

[“everybody calm down” in Hausa]

zo nan tare da ni, zan kiyaye ka

Come here with me, I will keep you safe

Seydou walks up to the goat while the rest of the pile lay on the ground

He takes the goat by the horns and steers him away from the people

SEYDO SA’IQI

You never catch a goat by yelling

He is a calm animal so YOU be calm too

Seydou walks calmly over to the goat, speaking in hushed tones

SEYDO SA’IQI (CON’T)

zo nan tare da ni, zan kiyaye ka

Come here with me you silly little goat, I will take care of you

THE BILLY GOAT
Michael, my dear friend. Tell me you are not here to herald the cycle of my wretched end

SEYDO SA’IQI

kowa da kowa kwantar da hankali

Everybody stay calm

Adonna, Samantha, Shmuley

Here, this will be more useful to you than that gun

Seydo pulls a fresh sanitary pad out of his orderly jacket and offers it to Sam who has been trying to make her way over to the gun. She takes it gratefully. Seydou picks up the gun and hands it to Officer Evrymn

 

SEYDO SA’IQI (CON’T)

Come in to hospital and get cleaned up

Sam, Shmuley, I have clothes for you both

Everyone, come into hospital, come into hospital with me
I will take care of you all

 

End of Act 1

Come on back in a few weeks for Act II…working on it.

©Marianna Mott Newirth 2016

Member of the Dramatists Guild of America

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